So here's the deal. I have been working on all sorts of things, but don't seem to be getting nearly as much done this summer as I was hoping. Ever have that happen? I had a wonderful list of things to accomplish and grand visions of me flouncing around yielding my paintbrush with ease, dust off my soft pastels dancing in the sunlight as it trickles through the window, masterpiece after masterpiece, the Universe's grand design flowing through MY hands onto paper...eat your heart out Michelangelo! Dream on Leonardo! Never has the world been witness to such raw and unhindered expression...the magnificence of it all!
...That didn't happen. It's been hot. And humid. My hair's frizz level has reached critical mass. I've barely slept in over a month for some inexplicable reason, but that's okay. I'm letting go...
It's so easy to spend too long in one state of mind, with one goal (or in my case ten too many) and the result of all this 'focus', seems to be becoming 'unfocused'. Irony- my life's cruel mistress. So many thoughts, so many plans, so many ideas to get onto paper and yet they just don't flow as they should. Come on brain, sort yourself out! Dialogue a bit with the hand and make it happen! Frustration rears it's ugly head...but I let it go...
I stuck all the projects I had unsuccessfully completed aside and meditated. I cleared out all that I had been trying to accomplish, trying too hard to 'force' into fruition. In the wise words of Master Yoda, I had to unlearn all that I had learned...or at least in this case all I had envisioned. Release myself from the notion that all of you can see what is in my brain...I mean, how do you know if I got it right?! Once I did this, once I allowed myself to go in a new direction (which is actually an old direction for me), the energy flowed through me once more. No flouncing though. I'm not good at it, and let's face it, I'd only hurt myself.
The Universe doesn't work in time lines. This means, as an Intuitive artist and someone who has more meaningful conversations with dead people than the living some days (sad but true), I can't try to fit everything into a structured 'human' way of being. Now, if only I could remember this...
So, as the gentle rain breaks through the heat and cleanses the air, I too am cleansed. My spirit is free of self-imposed burdens, and I am once again open to receive all that the Universe has to offer.
